Think on These Things

Think on These Things
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One of the hardest things about losing a loved one is the constant "what ifs." What if I had been there? What if we had noticed something wasn't right? What if we had been better parents? What if, what if, what if?


Then there's the "whys."


God, why did You allow this to happen? Why did she have to die? Why couldn't You have stepped in and stopped it? Why do I have to live the rest of my life in total pain and misery, longing for my daughter? Why didn't You love us enough to protect us from such trauma and loss?


Then the begging begins.


"God, please let me know she's okay. Please let me know she is with You. Please give me a dream or a vision and let me have just a glimpse of her in heaven with You. Then I know I would have peace."


The problem with all of these questions is that we rarely get an answer. But the more we question ourselves and God, the more depressed we become. And the more we begin to place the blame upon ourselves, the deeper into that dark pit we fall.


The thing we must remember is this: Jesus doesn't condemn us. But there is one who does, and his name is Satan. He loves to hurt us, hurl false accusations at us, place blame on us, disrupt our peace, cause us to question our faith in God, His goodness, His very existence, and ultimately turn us away from God entirely. After all, John 10:10 tells us the thief (the enemy) has come to steal, kill, and destroy.


This is why we continually long for confirmation from our Heavenly Father when painful things happen that we can't wrap our minds around. We feel that if we could just see our loved one, hug them, speak to them, and ask them questions, we would have perfect peace. We feel as if we deserve answers, or if God truly loved us, He would grant us this simple request.


Several people send me words of encouragement every day. There hasn't been one single day since we lost Hannah that someone hasn't texted me, messaged me, or sent a card of encouragement. That means so much to me. I just can't express how much that simple act of just checking on me warms my heart.


Many times I receive videos, blogs, or posts from others who have experienced the same kind of loss. I recently received one from a well-known individual who had recently lost a child. This individual had written a long post about how God had granted him the opportunity to go to heaven in a dream or vision and see, talk to, and hug his lost child.


I know it was meant to be encouraging, but honestly, it upset me. Not just for me, but for many other parents out there begging God for dreams and visions of their children. My immediate reaction was, "God, do You love him more than me? I have begged and pleaded with You to give me a dream or vision of my Hannah in heaven with You, but nothing! Why can't You do this simple thing for me? Is she in Hell?"


I hurt for myself, and I hurt for thousands of others who have prayed that same prayer with seemingly no response. And once again, I hold no animosity toward the individual who wrote that post, and I have been praying for his family because our loss happened right before his did.


I hurt for everyone who would ever have to endure such pain. And I praise God for giving them peace in any way He chooses to do so. We also know God doesn't do things the same for every person. He is God, and it's His business how He deals with His children. We need not expect cookie-cutter results.


I'm no neurologist, but I know from experience that when we have lost someone extremely precious to us, our minds want two things: answers and an opportunity to see that loved one again.


And maybe God does grant some people grand visions, dreams, conversations, hugs, and experiences with their loved ones after a devastating loss. But that probably isn't the case for the majority of us, and that can often contribute to even more questions.


So, as I was throwing my little hissy fit about not getting what I wanted, I finally sat down and just wept. Why wouldn't God give me this one thing that would be so easy for Him to do?


And in the stillness, His sweet voice spoke to me again:


"Donna, have I not already assured you that Hannah is with Me? I have shown you in My Holy Word, as just the right words have leapt off the page at precisely the right moment. I have spoken confirming words to you through devotionals you have read that answered your specific questions in remarkable detail immediately after you asked them.

I have given you peace when you have laid your head on your pillow and asked Me how you would ever survive this. And I have given you rest when the stress from your many questions and fears seemed unbearable.


But this I have asked of you, My daughter: walk by faith, not by sight. Cling more tightly to Me and My Word than to your condemning thoughts. Embrace the fact that I AM a good Father, and I AM working all things together for your good. I have asked you to trust Me because you know Me, and I know you.


You need not see what I'm doing now, because you will see it and fully understand everything when we stand face to face. So I ask you to have faith, trusting in the things that are not seen, because the things that are seen are temporary and will still leave you with questions.


Trust Me with all your heart, and remember what you know to be true about ME. Believe that I have promised to never leave or forsake you. I've always been here with you, and I always will be. You will never walk alone, and I will quiet your questioning heart with My love."


Not only did those words comfort me, they caused me to search within myself. For lack of a better phrase, "I know in my knower" that Hannah is with Jesus.


Do I still have moments of doubt and questioning? Absolutely. Because I'm not a superhuman who is above all doubt and fear. I'm just a normal human being like everyone else.


But now when those debilitating thoughts come, I don't start begging for dreams or visions. I spend time with Jesus and time in His Word, allowing Him to correct my faulty thinking, tear down the lies and condemnation of the enemy, and pour peace back into my heart all over again.


We must quickly shut down the lies of the enemy and set our thoughts on what we know to be true about our Father. We must take every thought captive and think on good things, true things, and most often, unseen things. That's what faith is!


Now, scroll back up to that part where God spoke to my heart. Replace my name with your own. I believe He is speaking the same thing to you today. Trust in God. He will carry you through every storm and every trial, no matter how impossible it feels. Though we may have feelings that cause us to question whether God really loves us, you "know in your knower" it's true!


Love and blessings,
Donna


“…The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
1 Phillippians 4:5-8 (NIV)


“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”   
2 Corinthians 4:18 (NIV)


“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”
Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)


“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)